My Remember Journal
by theRegalBeagle
Summary: A week in the life of Glitch through journal entries. Can he keeps himself together without his marbles? Does anyone even want him too? Warning! Angst and self...hurting...yeah.
1. Monday

**My Remember Journal  
**_by theRegalBeagle_

**Disclaimer:** _My lack of a nice car proves I do not own Tin Man._

**A/N:** _This is my first ever Tin Man fic!! Hurray!! Anyway, excuse the grammar and spelling.  
These will all be entries to a journal that the oh-so-wonderful Glitch has to keep. Enjoy!_

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_**Monday   
**__**Morning –** _

Hi! My name's Glitch! Oh, that's right…this is a piece of paper. I can't talk to paper. Hey!! Maybe when I get my whole brain back I can create something that allows me to talk to paper! Then I wouldn't have to right everything down. I could just ask the paper nicely and POOF it's on the sheet.

Is there something already like that invented?

……I should ask DG about that. She would know. She's almost as smart as I was.

Why am I doing this again? Oh, yeah! Because the doctor said this would help me remember things better. He wants me to write down everything that happened in my day until I get my brain back. Until I am Ambrose again. He said it would help me remember and it would help stimulate some big word in my brain. He said it would help me remember. He said it would help me remember. He said – sorry. He also said to try and not do that.

I didn't like that doctor. He seemed too stuck up. Was I like that? I hope not. I don't think I want my brain back if I was as stuffy as he was. P

Tomorrow I am meeting with another doctor. This time about my surgery. I'm kind of scared, but the Queen and DG said they would be there. I feel better just thinking about it. I feel better just think – oops. I don't think the inside-your-head doctor will like me doing that again. The outside-your-head doctor is supposed to be a nice man though. He is a great friend of the Queen. I wish I could remember him. I wish I could remember anything.

I wonder how Cain is. He has a job in the palace now. I think he's in charge of all the new Tin Men recruits. Either that or the kitchen. It was one of those…I think.

Why would he be put in charge of the kitchen?! I didn't know he could cook. Hmm…I should get to know him some more. I have to go now. Breakfast is ready and DG got mad at me for forgetting breakfast all last week. I'll be back later to write some more.

_**Afternoon –** _

Wyatt got angry at me during breakfast. And lunch. And dinner…wait, I didn't have dinner yet did I? How would you know? You're paper. Of course you might remember more than I do.

I told a bad story in front of everyone. About Cain. And squirrels. And situations where one person is petting a squirrel and then another person comes up behind the first person and scared him, making him throw the squirrel at Cain's manly parts. Yeeeaaah. He was angry.

He got even angrier when I repeated it at lunch.

He shoved my face into my plate. I'm pretty sure my nose is bruised.

Tomorrow I am meeting with another doctor. This time about my surgery. I'm kind of scared, but the Queen and DG said they would be there. Hold one.

Oops! I checked back to this morning. I already said that. Maybe that one doctor is right and this will help me remember things better.

I really do hope so. I saw something that made me upset today. It was the Queen. She was crying.

She missed Ambrose.

I felt bad, so I told her, "I'm sorry I can't be like him. I'm sorry I can't be brainy and important." I love the Queen. Her smile always brightens my day. She hugged me and told me nothing was my fault, and said she was happy I was back in the palace.

Does that mean she cares about me still? I should ask the inside-you-head doctor. He would know. I have to go now; the princesses need help in the garden.

_**Night –** _

Raw is so nice! He reminded me about this journal. Good thing, because that stuffy doctor would hate me if he found out I forgot about something that was supposed to remind me to begin with.

Is that funny? …Ironic, right?

I kept my mouth shut during dinner. Wyatt looked so tired. He must be working so hard. I wonder how Jeb is. He was a nice guy.

Is crying contagious? Because I started crying today. I thought about the meeting tomorrow with the doctor, and suddenly I fell over crying. My eyes hurt so much right now! It was so embarrassing. I forgot where my room was, so I had to hide behind an armor suit. I think some maids saw me. I hope they don't catch the crying like I did.

I hate crying. It makes my stomach feel empty and like I am about to throw up at the same time. It burns my cheeks and makes me hug my knees. Don't let anyone read this…but I always feel like scratching my skin when I cry. I want to ask someone if it is okay before I do that. But that doctor will only yell at me.

But by tomorrow I will forget about what it feels like. Sometimes glitching makes things easier. Goodnight.

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**A/N:** I hope you liked it! smiles sweetly Tomorrow I'm going to post the next chapter. I might decide to just do the morning, and then the afternoon and night in a new chapter. We'll see though!

I hope this wasn't too OOC. Enjoy the rest of your nightdaywhatever!!


	2. Tuesday: Morning Afternoon Evening

**Disclaimer:** _I don't own Tin Man. And I'm sure I'm not the only one when I say…damn._

**A/N:** _Here's a huge thanks to my first two reviewers for this story: THANKS!! I hope this chapter is as enjoyable as the first _

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_**Tuesday  
**__**Morning –** _

Hi again! Today's the day. I'm finally going to meet that doctor about my surgery. DG and Azkadellia woke me up real early this morning. They wanted me to be ready for my appointment, so they helped me pick out what to wear and even helped me decide which questions to ask. To be honest I just assumed the Queen would be doing all the talking and the doctor would be talking to her. Why would he want to talk to me? I can't remember enough to answer his questions?

The princesses are so sweet. They went downstairs to the kitchen to help make a bug breakfast. Everyone is supposed to be their. I think they want me to know everything will be okay. And that no matter what people will always be there for me.

Or maybe they just can't wait to get their Ambrose back. Maybe…maybe they don't like me as much as Ambrose.

But I'm nice. I care about all of them. I love DG and Az like sisters…the Queen like my own mother. I even love Cain's bitterness. They all mean something to me.

Shouldn't I mean something to them, then??

Hi again! Today's the day. I'm finally go – …oh. Sorry.

At least I forgot about my worries for a little while.

_**Afternoon –** _

At breakfast this morning the entire table was filled with so much food. I don't think anyone will be able to remember all of it. There was pancakes and waffles, sausage and rolls, fruits and veggies…so much I got sick just looking at it all.

It was really noises, though. Everyone was laughing and talking. Having a great time actually. I didn't really like the loudness. It hurt my ears. I started wondering if that was how I made people feel when I talked. I decided to keep my mouth closed for a majority of the morning.

No one said a single word to me.

They ate. They talked. They laughed. Without even noticing me. I bet they would notice _him_. Stupid old Ambrose.

Maybe they just didn't want to upset me today. You know, because I have to visit that doctor about my marbles. Yeah. That's why.

They were being considerate. :) I feel better already! Oops! I have to go. DG and the Queen are here to take me to the doctor. I'll tell you what happened later, okay? Bye!!

_**Evening –** _

The Queen was right. That doctor was really nice. He didn't give me strange glares like the inside-your-head doctor does. He smiled the entire time, and didn't mind waiting when I had to think about something for a long time.

He put me through a couple tests. First was –duh—a memory test. He wrote down…five numbers I think, and told me to recite them back without looking at the paper a second time. I did okay, until he added more numbers. I forgot the first few in the beginning. Then I forgot the last few. The next test was weird. He put a couple square pictures in front of me and asked me to place them in the right order. One had a kid playing outside. The next had something about rain. Another had the same kid looking at the rain from inside the house. And another showed the kid running inside.

The doctor smiled at me when I put them in order. I guess that means I did it right. What does rain have to do with brain surgery? I tried to ask DG, but she was to busy listening to the doctor.

He also asked me about some medical stuff and checked my ears, eyes, mouth, and muscles. He did some type of scan of my head and told us about his findings.

So, yes, he was a very nice man. I'm glad I met him. I hope I remember him. But I don't think I ever will.

Especially since he said it would be impossible to reunite my brains.  
A small tumor is growing inside of my head. It's an ob-obstruction to the surgery.

I'd be so happy to glitch right now :(

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**A/N:** _Poor Glitch! cries I wanted a reason that I haven't seen people use for why he can't have his surgery. I know this one is a rather sad reason, but I thought I'd use it. I don't know too much about tumors but I'm going to check out some symptoms and causes to give some more detail and give the story a 'realistic' side. _

_Haha! No Nighttime entry until tomorrow…at some point. So, ha! Why? Because I want it to be a little more deeper than these previous entries have been, and right now I am incredibly tired. _

_Thanks for reading, and enjoy your day!_


	3. Tuesday: Night

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Tin Man._

**A/N:** _I know I promised to update this a few days ago, but I had to deal with some other issues and I couldn't!! Damn personal responsibilities! _

…_Enjoy! _

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_**Tuesday  
**__Night – _

Today hurt my head. I took a nap after my last entry and woke up to a really weird noise. It was almost like a screech, but more human-like. It sounded so desperate and scared. I was so confused because I forgot where I was…and who I was.

Then Cain came in. But he wasn't Cain. I mean, he was, but I didn't remember him. He was just a blonde guy with a gun. My mind went numb when I saw his face. His eyes were still strong and independent under all the sleepiness, but a friendly concern seemed to spill over the sides. I knew whoever he was that he was trying to hide his concern and his worry.

I remembered that he asked me why I yelled right when I was just about to ask him who he was. I guess his voice helped jog my pathetic memory, because I suddenly could put a name to his forgotten face: He was Mr. Wyatt Cain. Ex-Tin Man. Father of Jeb. Son of…well, I don't think I knew that to begin with. --'

Maybe I should ask him what his dad's name was…Is that important?

……uh, so he asked me, "Why did you yell?" for the second time. At first I thought I was in a dream, because I hadn't screamed at all. But then I – surprise! – remembered that I always remembered things in my dreams and nightmares. So I must have screamed and not heard myself. Was that what that noise I heard was?

I awoke to my own screaming? I remember turning back to him and smiling at his annoyed face. I think I said, "Sorry, Wyatt. Bad dream!" I chuckled. He just turned around and left.

That was about an hour – two hours – ago. And I still cannot figure out what that bad dream was. Had I lied to Cain?

Maybe my dream was about the surgery – which I can't have. Wrong thought to start, huh?

Why does there have to be something else wrong? Nothing has gone right for the past decade. Now when something has the chance to go right, a stupid tumor is in my head. A giant lump of abnormal cells is trying to take over the piece of me housing the only bit of me that is left. Why does it have to do that? Why?

I don't remember any memories. I can barely remember my own friends, my own name…even my own Queen. Do the gods think that I actually have anything left to lose? Do the gods think that I actually have – damn it! (

I don't want any more bad things. I want some good things. I want to be someone again. I want to be smart again, and brave, and respectable. I want people…to care about me.

Why do I have to be so annoying and needed? I'm vulnerable, not great. Pointless, not a thinker.

I JUST HATE THIS!! Damn that stupid inside-your-head doctor.

Damn Ambrose.

Damn Cain.

Damn that Viewer.

Damn the royal family.

And damn me to Hell!

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**A/N:** _Is this too OOC for Glitch? O0'  
Hoped you liked it! _


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